Open Bar: To Have or To Have Not

Have you seen that Internet e-card floating around social media? The one that’s all, “We’re having an open bar! Oh… and a wedding.” This is hilarious to me because as a wedding guest, I like to know whether or not there will be free alcohol. We are there to celebrate two people coming together to declare their love and unify as one for the rest of their lives! Your friends and guests want to celebrate with you, dance with you, laugh with you, and revel in the glowing light of your love - and everyone enjoys dancing a bit more after one or two adult beverages.

Choosing whether or not to do an open bar is one of the most stressful decisions you’ll make while planning the wedding.

First off, there’s the family politics of the game: do both families drink? Will anyone be offended by the presence of alcohol? Or do they get a little too rowdy after one too many drinks – because being featured on Cops rather than Weddings Weekly isn’t exactly every bride’s dream.

Second: the budget *insert dramatic score*. Is there room for an open bar in your budget? This can often be one of the biggest expenses of a wedding.

And last but certainly not least: how do you feel about it? On some levels, having an open bar might feel like it diminishes the importance of the ceremony at hand. Are you here for my husband and I, or are you here to eat and drink for free?

These are the questions you will have to address before you ever start tasting cocktails. And if after deciding yes, you do indeed want your wedding to also be a rocking party, then read on to learn a bit more about price and definitions of the phrase, “open bar.”

This is the *average* breakdown of what a liquor shopping list looks like for 100 guests:

Beer: 5-6 cases                                 

Whiskey: 1 liter

Bourbon: 1 liter

Gin: 2-3 liters

Scotch: 2 liters

Light Rum: 1 liter

Vodka: 5 liters

Tequila: 1 liter

Champagne: 1½ cases

Red Wine: 2 cases

White Wine: 3½ cases

Dry Vermouth: 1 bottle

Sweet Vermouth: 1 bottle

The keyword here is “average.” You know best what your family and friends will drink. If no one you know drinks scotch – scratch that from the list. If you know that you and yours are mostly beer drinkers, be sure to buy more or go with the keg option instead. Also this list does not include mixers, syrups, or garnishes, so be sure to factor that in as well.

The next important thing is understanding exactly what “open bar” means. There are a few other options instead of having an entirely open and fully stocked free bar.

Definitions:

Open Bar: Guests do not pay at all; they can drink anything and everything they want. Generally, the payment plan works as charging per person per hour.

Hosted Bar: This is essentially an open bar: guests do not pay and can drink anything and everything they want. However, instead of charging per hour, each drink made is rung up and at the end of the night, the final bill is charged to the host.

Limited Bar: This can be when there is a limited selection of drinks like beer and wine; or it can be when the hosts choose to set specific drinking times like toasts or for an hour after dinner.

Cash Bar: The guests pay to drink - just like any other bar.  

There is some wiggle room in all of these. If you want to do a limited bar with beer and wine, but you have a few friends who drink only vodka, then get creative! Add on one signature cocktail in the color of your wedding. Blue bridesmaid dresses – Blue Hawaiian cocktails! Big Alabama fan – Crimson Tide cocktails! (click the link for the recipe!)

There are always inexpensive shortcuts you can find when planning a wedding on a budget (and honestly who isn’t these days). Those pictures of you and your besties getting down on the dance floor will be some of your absolute favorites. The one candid shot of your groom and his friends toasting out on the balcony, one of your favorites. Not saying, of course, that there needs to be alcohol present to have a beautiful and fun affair. But, hey, if it helps the chances that all of your guests will get out there and spontaneously break into the “Thriller” dance, then it is totally worth it. #yolo (too much? Probably) ;) 

Tell me what you think about having an open bar! Do you think cash bars are acceptable? If you've got any fun and crazy cocktail recipes, throw them in! 

You asked, I am telling. How to RBF

RBF 101 

In honor of the season finale of Jersey Belle I stopped by to see Jaime Primak Sullivan to teach her how to #RBF 
These are my tips on how to #RBF yourself
1. Relax all the muscles in your face
2. Stare through everything
3. Exude Mona Lisa, she was the original

Photographer Arden Ward Upton's Equus Collection

We are fast approaching the one-year anniversary of the debut of Arden Ward Upton’s photography collection known as Equus. Her passion and love for horses has not faded in any way during that time.

Living at Windwood Equestrian Estate, her days begin and end surrounded by the majestic creatures – a lifelong dream for the photographer. During an interview, Upton stated that all of her childhood birthdays had a pony-theme. She had dreamt of one day owning a horse, and now she has a barn full.

The Equus images have hung displaying on the walls of her Arden Photography Studio & Gallery in Crestline Village since Nov. 21 of last year, when she first launched the collection. Upton says she feels some of the photographs, “capture the natural beauty of wild horses,” while others were taken of the show horses on the Windwood Equestrian grounds.

Upton is unceasingly inspired by the beauty of the equines, and regularly features them in her photographs. The brides that book Windwood Equestrian Estate as their wedding venue very often are photographed with the horses, making for beautiful fairytale-esque portraits.

Several of the original images are still available for sale and in a wide variety of sizes; all of which were printed in her office on imported Canson/Arches paper.

Upton remains very busy as a cast member for Bravo TV’s Jersey Belle, and continues to shoot weddings, events, magazine spreads, and special collections. She also looks forward to more than one special date in the upcoming weeks: her one-year anniversary to husband William Upton.

For more on Arden Ward Upton, click here.

For more on Windwood Equestrian Estates, click here.

Feel free to stop by Arden Photography Studio and Gallery to view the Equus collection in person.

Top 5 Must Have Wedding Photos

You have fantasized about this day since the first episode of Full House when Uncle Jesse came walking down the stairs with that signature grin of his… say it with me ladies, “John Stamos.” You pictured the dress, him lifting your veil, the first kiss, the first dance – all of it! And while John Stamos might not be the man at the altar in reality, you still want that picture-perfect wedding! The big day can go by so fast that it’ll be like a blur in your memory. This is why the photos are such a big deal – you’ll have these forever! This is the list of our top five must have wedding photos featuring some of the best memories you will make.

1.    Mom Arranging Bride’s Gown

Getting a snap of mom tying up your dress, clasping your necklace, or pulling your veil down is something both of you will cherish for years to come.

2.    The “First Look”

This is a controversial one. Some couples want to wait until they’re together at the altar to see each other for the first time. But we love it when couples do a “first look.” It’s special, the one moment you and your very soon-to-be husband can just admire each other with no one else around (but us photogs of course!). Even if you choose not to do this, that moment when he first sees you coming down the aisle, is a gorgeous memory to capture.

3.    Bride and Groom Holding Hands at the Altar

Right after you hand off your bouquet, and before the rings are exchanged, there’s an instant where you and your groom clasp hands while you declare your vows. This stands out as that moment of unity.

4.    Father/Daughter and Mother/Son Dances

There is so much emotion to capture while you twirl about on the dance floor. Dad whispers something to his daughter and you see her tear up. Mom laughs and smiles at her son as he says something about “crazy Aunt Millie over there.” They are so proud of you, and this is worthy of every photo album ever.

5.    The Big Send Off

We’ve seen couples do some truly unique exit strategies – this is, hands down, why it is one of our favorite captures! Everything from old Volkswagen buses, café racer motorcycles, golf carts, and Gatsby-esque Rolls Royces have been used to whisk off the new couple to their happily ever after!

The truth is that there are tons of must have photos on your wedding day. Everything should be captured from beginning to end, so that you’ll always have those memories. That’s our job, but it’s also what we love…. And John Stamos ;)

You asked and I am telling, being judged stinks.

Last night's episode was my favorite so far! Props to Jersey because it is the only episode filmed in the Garden State. While watching it, I had a lot of emotions come up. I couldn’t stop thinking about what makes me nervous and uncomfortable and the common thread between all people.

I was scared at first but then I got into it!

I have amazing skating skills!

A little known fact is that I lived in Miami for 4 years. My mom was raised there because my grandmother, although originally from Lyndhurst, NJ, lived in Miami from 1948 until she moved with me to Alabama. I, however, would say I am mostly Southern raised and proud of it!

During the episode, I made a reference that Miami people and Jersey people are about the same. So let me share a little of my story.

Miami and Jersey don't look that different to me! Fun in the Sun 2001

Chapter One: Fish Out of Water

In 2001 after my divorce, I decided to move to Miami to get a fresh start. I knew no one except for one friend of a friend and my 80 year old grandmother who suffered with senile dementia and Alzheimer's. Later, I became the guardian of her and she lived with me until her death (that is another story). So “fish out of water?” Boy do I get it! In some way that may be why my heart reached out for Jaime when I met her in Alabama.

Miami:

A couple of weeks into living in Miami, I got a piece of mail addressed to the house next door, but the name on it was to JESUS BLANCO. I stopped in my tracks and thought, "Well this is some kind of joke! I have mail for White Jesus!" I lived in the community of Westchester, which is a Cuban neighborhood and let’s just say, I was the only Southern white girl around for blocks - I was so intimidated. I didn’t look like anyone I saw, and I definitely didn’t talk or dress like them either. I was petrified and so worried if I would be accepted. But this mail came for JESUS and I am going to meet my neighbor JESUS! So I walked over, knocked, and an older man answered the door. I explained there had been some sort of mistake, he had some mail come addressed to JESUS and maybe he should just take a look.

To my surprise, he explained to me he was in fact JESUS! What? He seriously laughed so hard and told me I was reading correctly, but in Latin culture it isn’t uncommon to be named Jesus (pronounced Hey-Sues!). We shared some laughs and quickly became fast friends. I think he took pity on me as he could see I was the "fish out of water." Jesus had lived in Miami for years but he came as an immigrant in the 60’s and he understood what I was going through being the new girl on the block. We laughed a lot about the fact that I had only ever heard the name Jesus in the context of church! He and his wife introduced me around to the rest of the neighbors and before I knew it I was eating fried plantains, pasteles (guava pastries), croquetas and my favorite, the Cuban sandwich!

While I lived in Miami I learned so much. My sweet neighbors always tried to “fatten me up,” as they would say, and soon I was playing dominoes and feeling like a part of the culture.

JAIME REALLY DID TURN THE “FISH OUT OF WATER" TABLES ON US BAMA GIRLS IN NJ, BUT I FEEL LIKE DANIELLE, LUCI AND I ALL ROSE TO THE OCCASION. I can’t imagine a person on this planet who can’t sympathize with feeling a little awkward or out of place at some point.

Jaime in Freehold with Danielle and Luci

In Freehold, NJ

What I think the root of most culture conflicts is, are insecurities and a need for acceptance. As soon as drinks were flowing and guards were dropped in Jersey, Mary and Deena  - Jaime’s friends - made me feel welcomed and I loved them for that. When I met them I was unsure. I wanted them to like me for Jaime’s sake but was afraid of a repeat of the introduction to Tracy. As soon as we gave each other a chance we got along great!

So this is what I thought Jersey would look like!

My take away from the Jersey trip is: DON’T JUDGE A BOOK BY ITS COVER! WE ALL WANT THE SAME THING - LOVE AND ACCEPTANCE! SOMETIMES, WE MAY WEAR DIFFERENT DISGUISES, BUT UNDERNEATH AND IN THE CORE, ALL HUMANS ARE THE SAME!

Hot Tips for a Winter Wedding

Generally when someone mentions the word “wedding,” you immediately picture a spring or summer outdoor affair with lots of sunshine, flowers in bloom, and strapless gowns. But what if I told you that there is a wholly forgotten wedding season where just about everything is cheaper, with readymade décor, and a warm glow in everyone’s hearts. Hearing “Jingle Bells” yet? That’s right – winter weddings. Here are a few reasons why you should consider one.

Cost-Efficient for the Budget-Savvy Bride

 The most popular months for weddings are May through October, so during the winter off-season you have the chance to negotiate better prices with venues, vendors, even your honeymoon. Ask if there is some wiggle room in their rates or if they can waive certain fees if they require them. We’ve heard that the venue of your dreams might offer a Friday discount for a Saturday wedding during the off-season – this can shave off thousands of dollars for some!

You also have the better luck of choosing the date you want at the venue you want. More availability equals less competition for you. I mean who wants to wait five years out for a June 6th wedding at The Plaza (you’ve seen Bride Wars, right?). 

Winter, for me, is all about the holidays and you certainly do not have to incorporate them into your big day, but your piggy bank might thank you if you did. Think about it – that is a whole bunch of free decorations for you: twinkling Christmas lights, glittering ornaments, fresh pine, and bright red poinsettias – what a gold mine! And most of those things come standard at venues, churches, and hotels during the holiday season. I say – embrace it! Winter weddings, themed or otherwise, are rare in the glossy pages of all the bridal magazines.

*And if you choose a date right after December 25th shout out for clearance prices on all that Christmas swag!*

Menu, Flowers, and Favors

Planning the menu should be fun for this time of year. Keep the chilly weather in mind, and think about serving warm soup, winter squash, and a variety of yummy drinks like spiked hot chocolate, eggnog, and spiced wine (set out candy canes as drink stirrers!). You could use gingerbread houses as edible centerpieces.

Flowers this time of year could get costly. Instead prepare arrangements with flowers and plants that are in-season: garland, glittered branches, pinecones, and fresh berries. Just grab everything off your fireplace mantle at home and carry it down the aisle!

Send your guests home with their own do-it-yourself hot cocoa mix in mason jars, or an ornament that commemorates the day. We’ve seen jingle bells used too!

Photos

Remember that it gets dark earlier in the winter. If you want your wedding portraits taken outside, be sure to plan accordingly. Opt for a pre-ceremony photo shoot. And if you’re imagining snow-covered trees in the background, stock up on fake snow spray or choose a destination wedding to Colorado – because Alabama.

Scout out public decorations and light installments. Colored Christmas lights will make for gorgeous bokeh-filled backgrounds and these can be found at public parks or even your local zoo (Zoolight Safari at the Birmingham Zoo). Train stations, hotels, ice-skating rinks, window displays at malls and toy stores, and roaring fires all make for fantastic winter-themed photos!

There are tons of ideas out there to make your winter wedding a truly spectacular event. No matter how cold it is outside, all that love in your heart will fill you with warmth (but maybe supply your guests with hand warmers, just in case)! 

You asked, I am telling. I believe in the American dream. Do you?

So you think I’m a Bit@#, you think I’m a snob or a gold digger. Well that’s fine by me because you don’t know me.

I moved out when I was 17 with an aluminum folding chair, a mattress on the floor and a 13 inch kitchen TV. I’ve had just about every kind of job you can think of: selling siding, selling water purification systems, working retail, waiting tables and the worst was printing photos for the Department of Public Safety in New Mexico. I will never get the images of animal brutality or homicides out of my mind. I am glad my photography career has progressed from that, but the list of odd jobs could go on and on. I have a strong opinion, but I feel like I’ve earned it.  What I can say is no matter what’s been going on in my life I’ve never acted the victim. I’ve taken it all in stride. I have made plenty of mistakes along the way, but I hold myself accountable for them.

My whole life I’ve been a dreamer and it’s dreaming that saved me from my childhood reality. A broken family and a broken spirit are two very different things. I always dreamed of growing up to live in a house like I watched in the movies. One where within the walls are security and happiness. A place where the power doesn’t get turned off and there is a fridge full of food.

I believe the American dream is still fully available to those who work hard and dream big. I’ve worked hard since I was 14. I've supported myself, and at times others, since I was 17. I am the American dream in my mind. I feel like if you can have the courage to believe in the fairy tale and never give up anyone can make it happen.  

The House I lived in until I was 8 in Eastlake.

The house I lived in during high school in Pinson.

My dad's house the best place in Forest Park.

Sex and the Southern City

Sex and the City – we have all watched it, we have all identified with one of the characters, we have probably even taken an online quiz to tell us which character we “are” (but really – who is ever completely honest about their answers on those anyway?).  We have definitely had conversations with our friends naming everyone of the group a Carrie, Charlotte, Miranda or Samantha – probably while drinking cosmos and dishing on the latest gossip.

Recently, Jersey Belle was proclaimed to be the next Sex and the City – but of the south. Jaime Sullivan designated each of the girls to be one of the original four of SATC. So then, is Arden Ward really the Miranda Hobbs of Jersey Belle? Or is she more like Carrie Bradshaw?

Click photo to read original article on @E!online

Miranda is determined, hardworking, brutally honest, and fiercely loyal. But she is also seen as cynical, self-loathing, and incredibly guarded. Arden is without a doubt professionally driven and hardworking and like Jaime said, she is a voice of reason much like Miranda is for Carrie.

Carrie has an affinity for stylish clothes and expensive shoes, she dates all the wrong guys, and is on the holy grail of quests – that of true love. She has her drawbacks as well: she is anxious and a bit unsure of herself, repeatedly changing her mind whether it be about which shoes to wear or whether or not to dump Mr. Big this week. If you know Arden at all then you know that she too has been searching for her “happily ever after” as well. Like Carrie, she juggles the weight of a career, life, and love.

Interestingly enough, in the show, Miranda and Carrie are the closest out of the group. They are a good balance to each other: one, the warrior and the other, the dreamer. Arden is not one of these characters, but a blended mix of both. She has had her share dating the wrong guys, finally finding true love just like Carrie and Miranda. And while she is a hard working go-getter, she is ultimately a romantic – an idealist: a warrior with big dreams.

Arden's SATC quiz results